When someone points out something we also need time to reflect on, we can feel stronger, more intense emotions than what we already had in our hands.

When the Moment Is Already Full

Sometimes our emotions are already enough to hold, and it can feel like something heavier is added on top. Pointing something out isn't wrong in certain situations. But when a moment is already full, it's worth thinking twice before adding to it.

In a moment like that, we wish someone would pause whatever intense situation is happening and understand both sides, so that neither side feels worse or less.

Everyone Is a Mirror

Projections are hard to avoid, because everyone can be a mirror of something in us. We each have our own mirror, and it's easy to let an emotion out without looking into ours first. Our emotions often come from something deeper.

Feelings can be random, passing by depending on what we put our mind to. Emotions don't only come from what's happening in the moment. They also build up from what we plant in our mind, and what we plant can either escalate the feeling or soften it.

Releasing emotions on people is normal, but it can go well or badly depending on the moment. We all do things to others expecting a reaction. At the end of the day, we want reciprocation for how we feel. We want to receive an emotion in exchange for the one we release.

What We Actually Need

Reciprocation shouldn't be expected. Most of the time, it won't end that way. Reflecting on it afterward might not give us the emotionally driven reciprocation we thought we wanted.

We don't need a reaction to every feeling, emotion, and action. We need clarity. A mirror was never something we could hold up for someone else. It was ours to begin with. When did we last look into it? Did we notice the small details we assumed no one else would?

Handing It Over

Clarity should stay with whoever holds it. It shouldn't be taken to someone else or handed over to someone else.

Helping someone find clarity should always be an open-ended question, and it shouldn't feel like being handed everything all at once. Something like: "Why do you feel that way?" or "Do you think doing this would resolve anything?"

It can be as gentle as helping one another find clarity on what is really going on, and not just what is currently going on at the moment.

Which Mirror Belongs to Who

We can't know someone else's side. Maybe they're working through something of their own. We don't have to bring ourselves, or anyone, into a problem that was never ours to solve. We can leave someone else's problem with them when it needs a resolution from them, and not from us or anyone else. That's just knowing which mirror belongs to who.

Open and at Peace

We can make a problem heavier and still walk away convinced that our actions were suitable for the situation, even though in the end we feel worse instead of resolved. If unresolved feelings are still there, clarity hasn't really arrived yet.

Are we protecting our actions, or the things we keep from ourselves and everyone?

Inner clarity is essential too. But if we stay stuck on what already happened, and it always leaves us unresolved on that chapter, it isn't clarity yet, and it won't help us grow. We don't need clarity to change something that has already happened. We need it to resolve something in ourselves, so that when we move forward, we don't bring along things that already did their job.

Whatever happened is meant to make us wiser on our future endeavors, more open, and at peace with everything that would only make us feel stuck if we stayed too long.

.aletheia